If you have been through any kind of sexual violence, please know that it was not your fault. It doesn’t matter how long ago it happened, where you were, what you were doing, what you were wearing or whether you were drunk or had taken drugs – you are in no way to blame.
Coming to the realisation that you have experienced sexual violence is difficult to come to terms with, but it is the first step in the process of surviving abuse. To understand that it’s okay to ask for help and support is next- and here you are on this website; you should be proud of yourself.
It can be confusing to know what to do next, but we have information to help guide you, and a reliable team to support you through the process of surviving abuse and being able to thrive.again.
It happened to me recently:
If you are in immediate danger or need urgent medical attention, try to get to somewhere safe, and call 999
Try to be with someone that you trust, even if you do not wish to talk about it yet. If something has just happened to you, you might be feeling scared, upset, angry or numb- no one should have to deal with these emotions alone and it is important not to isolate yourself.
When you are ready, however long that may take- talk to someone. If you don’t feel comfortable telling a friend or family member, you can talk to us.
Whilst this may be a lot to consider when you are feeling upset and confused, we encourage you to reach out to our trusted partners, Victim Care and Victim Support if something has just happened to you. Due to their specialist nature in crisis intervention, they are equipped to support you and help you take the appropriate steps following a recent experience of sexual violence.
It can be extremely difficult to confront, but there are some important things to consider if you have recently experienced rape or sexual assault, such as STIs, pregnancy tests, and emergency contraception. The following link to Victim Care Devon and Cornwall is trusted by and connected to SAND, and provides 24-hour support online and on the phone:
Whether you decide to report to the police is your choice, and you should never feel pressured to do so. As SAND is not a crisis intervention centre, all referrals who wish to report a crime are directed to one of our trusted partners at https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/ where you will be listened to and given guidance on your decision.
You can report a crime at any time if you have experienced sexual violence, but if you have been raped or sexually assaulted in the last seven days, there are processes to collect forensic evidence that can help your case if it goes to court. You do not have to immediately make a decision to go to the police, but you can still get a forensic medical examination to give you time to consider your options.
It happened a long time ago
There is no time scale for processing trauma; no timeline for ‘getting over it’; and no time limit for seeking support.
It’s in our nature to repress traumatic events, and many people find that they can’t bring themselves to face the realisation of what happened for a long time.
Whether it was months, years, or decades ago- we are here to listen to you and believe you. It doesn’t matter how long ago it happened; your experience is valid.
You can make a report to the police even if it happened a long time ago. There is no time limit on reporting sexual offences such as rape and sexual assault.
Forensic evidence isn’t required for the police to start an investigation; your account of what happened is important evidence too, and it is never too late.
I’m not sure what happened…
It is important to remember, that if something sexual has been done to you without your consent- that is sexual violence.
If you’ve had an experience that didn’t feel right, speaking to a professional can help provide clarity.
Many people who have experienced sexual violence feel confused about what happened to them or are unsure if it ‘counts’. Your experience does not have any criteria to meet; at SAND you will always be listened to, believed, and never judged.