What is sexual violence?
The term ‘sexual violence’ describes any kind of sexual activity that is unwanted and takes place without consent. It exists in different ways, such as (sexual assault, sexual harassment, rape), and may involve any of the following:
- pressure, coercion
- manipulation
- intimidation
- threats
- deception
- force
What is ‘consent’?
To consent means agreeing to something by choice, as well as having the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
Capacity here refers to one’s own capability to make a choice. For example, consent cannot be made if someone is asleep, unconscious, drunk, ‘on’ drugs, or drugged.
Legally, someone under the age of 16 does not have the capacity to consent. They are still a child.
Or someone may have an illness or mental health disorder that affects their ability to make a choice.
Freedom refers to whether someone is safe and able to make a choice in their circumstances. For example, someone may say ‘yes’ not because they want to, but out of fear for their own safety and wellbeing.
Consent is not…
- Consent is not pressuring, coercing, manipulating, or deceiving someone into sexual activity.
- Consent can be withdrawn at any time, including during a sexual act, and having consented to a previous experience or act does not mean consent for it to happen again in the future.
- If you feel as though you have to agree to sex or other sexual activity because you’re worried about the other person’s reaction if you say ‘no’, that is not consent.
- Consent can NEVER be assumed by a person’s actions, such as flirting, or by what they are wearing
- Consent to a prior experience of sexual activity does not mean they have consented to do it again. Equally, it cannot be assumed that someone wants to take part in one type of sexual activity because they want to take part in another.
This is just a short list of examples. What is important to remember is that if something didn’t feel right, and it was unwanted, then you did not give your consent.
Why ‘violence’?
‘Most of us would recognise that, if someone stands behind you at a cash machine and asks for your PIN number while holding a knife to your back and you give it to them, you aren’t consenting to being robbed.
Well, it’s similar with sex. Although, in this case, the ‘knife’ could be something entirely different – such as the threat of someone sharing a sexually explicit photo of another person. Or spreading lies about them. Or making them feel worthless.’ (https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/about-sexual-violence/sexual-consent/)
The term ‘violence’ serves to represent the severity and lasting impact that non-consensual sexual activity can have on a person, but it is important/crucial to remember the following, despite the connotations of the word:
- Sexual violence does not have to leave a person with visible injuries.
- Sexual violence does not have to involve other physical violence or weapons.
- Reaction responses to sexual violence differs. If the victim or survivor didn’t scream, try to run away or fight then that doesn’t mean it wasn’t sexual violence. People who experience sexual violence often find themselves unable to move or speak.
No one deserves or asks for sexual violence to happen. Ever. And yet, it happens to people of all genders, ages, sexualities, cultures, faiths, and ethnicities. Including children, older people, and disabled people. To seek the support that will be best for you, please reach out to us for guided and individual help.